Picnic At Hanging Rock

On Valentines Day 1900 a group of students from the Appleyard College left for a day trip to Hanging Rock, in Australia’s Mount Macedon area. Enjoying the beauty of the rock several of the party are slightly bemused by the sudden failure of their watches, all of which stopped at exactly 12 o’clock, although Miss McCraw puts this down to a magnetic force from the once volcanic rock. Having enjoyed a day of wonder in the sunshine at the base of Hanging Rock, four of the students decide to embark on a hike to the top of the rock formation, led by Miranda (Anne Lambert) the schools most admired pupil. After a lengthy climb the girls lay out just minutes from the top to embrace in the warmth of the sun, and take chance to rest.
One of the girls known as Edith awakens to see her three classmates venturing further up the rock without her, and although attempts to catch up with them cannot. Edith returns to the base in a state of shock, unable to speak of what has happened other than her three classmates have disappeared, what she can recall however is a bright red cloud, and passing Miss McCraw as she made her way up the hill, in a strange trance and without a skirt, McCraw too disappears.

Picnic At Hanging Rock is one of the greatest mysteries of all time, but bigger a mystery is the fact that so many believe the story to be true.

Thinking back I first saw Picnic At Hanging Rock about 25 years ago, and I must confess I was less than impressed, however rather like a might fine wine the movie has grown in wonder to me as I have grown older. In the last six or seven years it has become one of my favourite movies, and despite it’s UK imposed PG certificate its possibly one of the most disturbing movies currently available on DVD.

While Weir’s direction is mesmerising, showing us a variety of beautifully framed shots; the heart of the movie is in its chilling soundtrack by Bruce Smeaton, a little used composer. Using the traditional pan pies so native to Australia, a variety of classical numbers played by orchestras, and electronica. The effect of the music, gives the movie a real feeling of menace, almost to the extent that you feel like you have stumbled upon something you should have not have. To the other extreme, your given musical moments of extreme beauty so sublime you forget the horrors of earlier scenes.

The wonder of Joan Lindsay’s story, Cliff Green’s screenplay, and Peter Weir’s direction is that every single scene is pivotal to the story, those airy fairy moments that seem throwaway in their nature are all incredibly important to the story; casual references in conversation such as issue of time are so terribly important, and this is what sets the movie apart from so many other movies, nothing is irrelevant.

The horror of the events on Hanging Rock, are nothing compared to the horror that takes place at the Appleyard School, strangely this somehow overshadows the other issues of the film, not in a bad way, but it gives it a whole new dimension. The curious Mrs. Appleyard rules the school strongly, but no more than any other school of the day, what is however different is the subtle bullying of Sara a girl with a less fortunate home life than any of the other girls. This brings about a real tragedy bigger than anything else in the movie.

It’s an interesting view that the movie gives us, turning the clock back 108 years, how much has changed. This is best delivered to the viewer in one particular scene where the girls are told as soon as they are miles away from the college that they may have permission to remove their gloves, if they so wished.

The cast is a gathering of beautiful people both female and male, and I believe this is deliberate because it makes the loss so much more tragic, even Miss McCraw an older lady has a certain older beauty about her. McCraw of interest was played by actress Vivean Grey who is best known as Mrs. Mangle from TV show Neighbours, Grey’s career was cut short by a series of tragedies, firstly her character in TV show the Prisoner was virtually cut out completely due to a law suit bought about by a party that claimed her performance was far to similar to a real life character, and her experiences as Mrs. Mangle were so extreme due to the popularity of Neighbours that people in public found it difficult to tell the difference between the character and the actress, in 1988 Grey retired in acting distraught by events.

Of the other cast member you have Rachel Roberts one time wife Rex Harrison, here as Mrs. Appleyard her performance is forthright and exacting. Apparently so harsh was her performance that the young actresses literally hated her, so much so that often she would ask that the girls were removed from set, because should could not bear to be hated by them. There is even a train of thought that the performance was not in fact acting, rather like Appleyard she liked both men and a good drink. Roberts committed suicide five years later, the horrors she endured her co-workers with seemingly the start of the end.

Meanwhile the young and inexperienced cast literally performed as they would in real life, sought out due to the fact that they came from backwaters where culture had not quite got hold, while City actresses were into pop music, the cast were selected mainly of Adelaide actresses whose biggest interests were the crafts scene, no interest in music or boys. Leading these was Anne- Louise Lambert, an actress as stunning now 33 years on as she was back then. Long after the movie has ended you remember the beauty of Lambert.

The wonder of Picnic At Hanging Rock is that it is a story without end, when novelist Joan Lindsay sent the book to publishers back in 1967, ingenious minds decided to remove the final chapter leaving the story open ended. It’s this careful editing that made the story so famous, and ultimately if you like one of the biggest hoaxes of all time, with people convinced to this very day that the events in the book and the movie are true. The story begins with a cleverly written prologue, and a final epilogue, this is carried forward from the book to the movie. In 1975 when the movie was made, only the clever editors at the publishing house and Joan Lindsay knew the truth, this truth was not revealed until 12 years after the movie was made and can be found in the book The Secret Of Hanging Rock, those purchasing the book Picnic At Hanging Rock will find no conclusion.
I should add that this lack of ending does not weaken either the book or the movie (both equally as good) in fact it’s the real essence of the magic, had that final chapter have been included this would not be something we would talk about now. It should be pointed out that Picnic At Hanging Rock was the very first blockbuster Australian movie, with sales across the world being massive. This being said the movie failed to please audiences in the US, who desperately wanted an ending.

It’s not very often that when a directors cut of the movie is released that the original is somewhat lost altogether, but this is exactly what happened, the original print disappeared completely for over ten years. Then after being considered lost the original print returned, sadly though preservation of this print was impossible due to the source material the print was found on.


It’s important to point out before I finish that Hanging Rock and Ayres Rock (also known as Uluru) are very different locations, though I note that people reviewing this over the years often have this fact confused.

The Ruins

Sliding along in the wake of Turistas AKA Paradise Lost, The Ruins teaches us the dangers of travelling in unknown locations, and most importantly treating ancient temples and customs with respect.

 

While on holiday in Mexico five friends enjoy some downtime by their hotel swimming pool where they encounter the kindly Mathias (Joe Anderson). He tells the five travellers about his intentions to travel to an ancient temple the following day to meet with his brother. After some debate the five Americans decide to follow Mathias on his adventure being as it is their final days of their holiday, and figure that this would be an ideal way to finish off their holiday.

 

No sooner have our travellers arrived at the ancient temple than they are surrounded by an angry looking mob. Trying to cool the situation down due to the misunderstandings of no knowledge of each other’s language Dimitri (Dimitri Baveas) the groups self appointed leader steps forward to make amends. His five travellers look on as he is cruelly murdered by the mob, causing them to head for the temple. Surrounded at the base of the ancient ruins by a fifty strong army the travellers, the group try to debate their escape, but what lies in and on the temple is far worse than the terror below.

 

The trailer for the Ruins gives a viewer little inspiration to begin watching this movie, looking rather bland and similar to a lot of other movies, however it fails to illustrate the complexities of the plot and what appeared to be familiar horror fare turned out to deliver well beyond believable expectation, and for a movie that comes from Hollywoods Dreamworks studio, it’s surprisingly dark.

 

The Ruins wastes no time getting straight to the heart of the action, having introduced the characters and their foibles, you are then rushed to the ancient ruins; where rather like fireworks you are given a quick succession of shocks. Considering the limited amount of space the cast have to manoeuvre around and the limited cast, there is an awful lot to The Ruins, more than you could ever expect in fact. Initially climbing the ruins filled with hope, the travellers are presented with a series of horrors that cause their hopes to slowly become diminished.

 

The big horror of the movie is the terrible vines that cover the ruins, and nothing is being ruined by this disclosure. Seemingly having a life of their own the vines can move, communicate, and most importantly devour our cast in a matter of seconds. You could call this horror a very tongue in cheek one, let’s face it vines that can communicate and kill? It sounds suspiciously like the plot for a nasty 60’s movie or TV series. But this is nothing to be laughed at, the vines are incredibly dangerous, and sinister; completely relentless in their actions and methods of seducing their prey these are the stuff of nightmares.

 

The special effects are great, and for a horror movie fan this will not fail to entertain with both reasonable scares and gross out horror this is the sort of thing a horror movie fan loves to see. The Ruins does echo back to the very dark horror movie output of the 1970’s where literally anything goes, there is lots of mutilation and limb removal that will have you turning away but desperately wanting to watch.

 

The cast perform well, Black Donnellys star Jonathan Tucker heads up the cast as medical student Jeff, while Jena Malone, and Shawn Ashmore add great support. The heart of the movie goes out to Laura Ramsey as Stacy a character who you are feeling for from the movies offset, she undergoes the greatest transformation of the movie, and some of her scenes will have you on the edge of your seat.

 

What works so well about The Ruins is the unchartered feel of the movie, yes we have seen similar offerings but this really is something genuinely different. Rather like Paradise Lost, Hostel, The Mist and Saw this movie opens up some new doors for horror and focuses as much on the psychological aspects of horror as it does the physical and graphic. It movies along at a rate of knots, one minute calm the next minute intense, while keeping the character development and emotion sharp. It’s movies like this that can give lethargic horror movie fans a little more hope for the future, this is hardly what you would consider normal or run of the mill.

The Ruins is in UK cinemas now.

 

Collateral

There are a lot of critics of the Cruise (Tom Cruise), generally from the quarter of the viewing population that don’t know their arse from their elbow. Fact of the batter is that for 27 years Tom Cruise has been a consistently performing actor, an arse in reality maybe but as a star he puts that little bit more into his roles. It’s this sort of commitment and hard work that means that Cruise’s movies are known products that dominate the box office. Personally I think the guy is a fantastic talent, adaptable, prepared to take a gamble, and in his career I can only see a couple of movies that fall under the category of being turkeys.

 

Collateral is not one of those movies that I would consider to be a turkey, I don’t think it’s a magnificent work of art but then to be honest I find all of director Michael Mann’s movies god but not the sort of thing that you can continuously watch.  One thing you can say about Mann is that all his movies are beautifully shot and Collateral is no exception, I’d go as to say that with the exception of his 1983 movie The Keep, Collateral is the most visually stunning of the directors output.

 

Max (Jamie Foxx) is a taxi driver, living a normal life; not a rich man but not a poor one either. He enjoys his job, and is a fairly likeable individual. For Max his shift starts normally a nattering old fool, followed by a beautiful lawyer called Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith) who seemingly makes an instant connection. Max’s next fare is the enigmatic Vincent (Tom Cruise) , the two have an enticing conversation not dissimilar to that of a late night chat show, but before the fare comes to an end Vincent fires a question at Max, the question being if Max will work for him during the entire night.  Max agrees after a little considered thought and thinks he is in for a fairly calm and controlled night; unbeknown to Max however Vincent is a vicious and ruthless hitman, and the first Max knows of this is the arrival of a body on his taxi cab roof.

 

Collateral is the thinking person’s action movie, scenes of extreme action followed up by minutes of dialogue that set the movies taste and feel as Vincent slowly lets the un-accepting Max experience the darker aspects of his very varied life. The dialogue is quick, well thought out, but deathly to the point.

 

The game the movie plays is very much a cat and mouse tale where at various junctures of the movie Max and Vincent fight to achieve the upper hand, the one that holds all the cards. While Max believes much of the time during his upper hand moments it’s through sharp thinking, for the first portion of the movie your unaware if this is actually Vincent allowing this aspect to occur, to add a little fuel to what might otherwise be a very easy game.

 

What is most obvious about the movie is that this is not just a master and slave type scenario, to a major level the characters both have a certain degree of admiration for each other, you could even say they like each other. It’s certainly the case for Vincent, and at times there are key pointers that let you believe that Max might just feel the same. Max likes Vincent’s power, while Vincent enjoys the freedom of life that Max enjoys.

 

There is something in the back of my mind that ties Collateral to Mann’s earlier movie Heat, it’s almost as if Collateral is an earlier aspect of De Niro’s character Neil. If you look at Cruise and De Niro in both movies, they look the same both bearded with greying hair (here making Cruise look like almost a different actor); they both have the same levels of compassion, kindness, and ruthless aggression.

 

I’m sure Cruise had a lot of fun with this movie, not a stranger to action Cruise rarely gets to play the bad guy, and to play such an efficient cold blooded killer I suspect would be a highlight in anyone’s career, let alone that of an actor usually associated with being the hero. Even though Vincent is the bad guy, you find yourself rooting for him over Foxx’s weaker Max. This is one killer you want to succeed, and that’s why the movie is heavily balanced on the darker side than the good as most movies generally are.

 

Every one of the movies performers deliver from Cruise as the lead, to Peter Berg and Mark Ruffalo as cops in chase of the deadly Vincent. Eagle eyed viewers will notice an early performance from recent Oscar winner Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men).

 

Collaterals musical score is delivered by composer James Newton Howard who has contributed considerably to recent cinema, as well as what would now be regarded as Modern Cinema. From traditional use of brass and string instruments, to a sort of hyped up techno offering the movies power is delivered chiefly by the score that is unusually present in varying forms through the entire movie, moments of silence are literally only for seconds almost as if his orchestra have been given a matter of seconds to gain a breath.

 

On this my third viewing of the movie I find myself in new ground, having watched the movie as a large projected image. This is a movie that benefits greatly from a big screen, so much so it almost seems like a different movie altogether. Collateral is an enticing rollercoaster ride of a movie that will keep you captivated until the movies final breath.

On The Doll

Not to be confused with the UK expression “On the dole” meaning collecting unemployment benefit; On The Doll is a reference for sexual abuse, an expression delivered by a psychiatrist to an abused child asking them to indicate where on the doll they were touched. So from this basis alone I guess it’s understandable for you to think twice about seeing this movie, as it has gone into an area of the world that we don’t like to think exists. To avoid this movie however would be sad because for the most part its incredibly well written, nicely pieced together, and at times quite amusing.

 

Laid out like pieces of a puzzle the story is told from the angle of several relatively innocent parties who have either been abused or sadly are about to be. The idea of the movie is designed to show the effect that sexual abuse can have on a young mind, changing what might ordinarily be a normal way of life. A big factor about the movie is that it shows that all the victims of the movie are betrayed by someone in a trust position, a carer, a relative, a teacher. When you are in a situation that someone is trusted with you, and you have that trust abused the repercussions of this have far reaching effects.

 

The movie is shot with a grey scale imagery, this allows the movie from offset to be sunken to sombre depths within seconds of the movie beginning. The opening scene features two schoolgirls chatting, one putting lipstick on with a penis shaped lipstick. The wider picture shows these two young girls sat legs apart so someone in a nearby car can see up their skirts. This is not designed to show certain deviant behaviour from the girls aspect, but to show that once you reach a certain age it’s normal to experiment in certain things that give you a specific feeling inside, in this case showing off their underwear to a stranger is both exciting and dangerous, I’m sure that at one moment in time we have all engaged in a certain dangerous sexual situation. Sadly this little dally into sexual awakening is the point that changes the two girls lives forever.

 

Other victims of the movie are less reluctant or willing to enter into the sexual foray; one young man sexually abused by an uncle is thrown into the porn industry, working in a seedy magazine that publishes contact details for prostitutes. While others are forced into prostitution, and others are so traumatised that they find it difficult if not impossible to have sex with anyone, even those that they truly love.

 

Humour comes from the angle of the psychiatrist specifically who has issues well beyond the depths the movie allows us to see. The unnamed psychiatrist is played by one time A-Lister Teresa Russell, and she seems more troubled than anyone else in the movie encouraging people to physically fight back against abuse, encouraging them to take “final” revenge, and being so hung up that she won’t allow anyone to touch the dolls from which the movie’s title derives.

 

 Watching the movie develop is an interesting path, you so want not to get drawn into this movie but you find yourself a helpless victim pulled into the heart of the matter. And it’s not all doom and gloom, you are allowed to see the forming of the most beautiful and innocent relationships, innocent relationships founded on the background of extreme sex and deviant behaviour. It’s those innocent relationships and the characters contained that you feel most passionate about.

 

Innocence and harshness go hand in hand with On The Doll, and I won’t deny there are some fairly graphic scenes, one man is repeatedly punched in the testicles, but not as punishment, this is for pleasure; a thought that as a man and a man who has at times received sharp pain to that area actually makes me feel sick just thinking about it. And of course far worse than anything else your never far away from the subject of rape.

 

What really lets the movie down is that for 90 minutes it plods along fairly nicely, it’s not comfortable viewing granted, but it is a really attention absorbing piece. Then suddenly out of the blue come’s the scene where all the stories rather like a cogged wheel all connect together.  This connection of stories seems almost comedic, while being again painfully harsh at the same time, most of all it seems very rushed indeed almost like the director suddenly realised he needed to wrap everything up.

 

On The Doll is a low budget movie, it looks visibly cheap the greyscale imagery adding to this general feel, but beneath this cheapness are some pretty good performances from actors and actresses we are all familiar with, though not necessarily by name. If you enjoy watching movies On The Doll has the same sort of impact that Fun, Elephant, and The Kite Runner had on their various niche areas, it’s a classic movie that may not be appreciated now, but certainly will in the future.

 

Zombie Strippers

With no offence meant to anyone, I think you would need to be incredibly silly to tune into a movie like Zombie Strippers and expect a high calibre storyline, and A list quality actors; and providing you are fully aware of this and enter with pretty low expectations you'll be unlikely to get upset by this movie.

Looking like a nasty little porn movie, in that it has that sort of seedy haze that surrounds anything; Zombie  Strippers will disappoint the brown raincoat brigade the most, because its deceptive title gives you certain expectations, with only one semi naked scene in the whole movie which only lasts a few seconds, Guys it's time to zip back up. Zombie Strippers aims firmly at exploiting the title to deceive its viewers (although their certainly are zombie strippers) playing the movie mainly for laughs. "Oh my God their zombies", "No they're strippers", "They're zombie strippers!" being the sort of stellar comedy line to expect from this offering, yes it's not that funny but in the context its used it's not a bad attempt. If you like your humour a little tongue in cheek, cheesy, or just plain sick then this is a movie for you.

Set in the new future and George W. Bush has just begun his fourth term as the president of the US, Arnold Schwarzenegger as his Vice President. While America gets fat on his ridiculous plans, wars continue around the planet in all existing countries we are aware of, and now most importantly Alaska. For reasons best known to the movies creator, a group of soldiers burst into a underground bunker where zombies are being made by Bush's "W" factory. This bunker just so happens to lead onto a strip joint, and when only one man gets out from the bunker he is unaware that he has been infected by the terrible disease. It's Kat (Jenna Jameson) that is on the receiving end of the soldiers bite, but as the strip clubs main attraction, she is aware that the show must go on, even if she is dead.

If you excuse her work on the Vice City games Zombie Strippers is the first non pornographic role for the "actress" and as rather bad actresses goes, she does a reasonable job holding things together. It's clear she has a lot of fun making money without having to degrade herself (though I'm sure she would not think it degrading). Her character of Kat is an intellectual stripper studying the works of the great genius's of the last 200 years, all of which she manages but has more luck with understanding after her death, one of many strippers with surprising intelligence, working bang against the stereotypes often given to this sort of performer. One of the consistent "in" jokes of the movie is how they continuously correct those around them, when they either misquote someone or say something intellectual that's slightly wrong.

Zombie Strippers is not the normal zombie movie, all of the victims in the movie continue along like normal to a certain extent after becoming infected. While they need to get their lips round some human flesh, they all are quite happy to let the show go on performing for the regulars at the strip club.

No cheesy horror movie would be complete without Nightmare On Elm Street actor Robert Englund, who here stars as Ian the strip club owner. Englund delivers the usual unpleasantness he always does in a movie but this time with a little more laughable humour. Like the captain of the ship, he is more than happy to go down with his vessel, even if it means that someone will have to go down on his (did you see what I did there?).

Of interest is Jessy (Jennifer Holland) the schoolgirl virgin who goes to work in the strip joint in order to pay for her grandmothers colostomy bag, and frequent operations. Jesse is the character you watch, waiting to see her transformation from prim and proper to tart with a heart, or at least shotgun wielding stripper, whether she does or not it'll leave a mystery but she is certainly a character to watch, as is her boyfriend Davis (John Hawkes). Davis is the Christian boyfriend of Jessy whose darker side comes out when Jessy comes to perform at the stripjoint. From completely following God his transformation provides the movies biggest laughs (if you call them laughs), from sweet altar boy to foul mouthed wretch any excuse he gets to take advantage of his schoolgirl stripper girlfriend he will take, "What not even an angry dragon?" he asks having again been rejected for a little action, where he picks up the phrases from is nobody's business but he would certainly give internet site The Urban Dictionary a run for their money.

Fans of the movie The Warriors will enjoy the rather bloody "Warriors come out to playayyyy!" skit, it will make your flesh drop off.

There is a great body count, each death met with humour and a smile, but essentially there is little to this movie. It's very much the sort of thing you'd find late night on a satellite channel, it's nothing new but certainly a far cry away from being the worst horror movie I have seen in awhile, in fact if you compare it to recent movies like Shutter, Zombie Strippers towers above it.

Zombie Strippers is due at a few horror festivals throughout the UK , before a limited cinema screening on the week of 19th September. Then the movie heads to DVD on the 27th of October.

Be Kind Rewind

In a suburb of New Jersey Be Kind Rewind is a video shop way behind the times, still trading a dollar a movie a night on video when the rest of the worst has moved onto DVD. Be Kind Rewind, makes little money, none in fact; but its store claims an unusual fame this was where Jazz legend Fats Waller was born. It’s on the basis that this was the birth place of Fats Waller that Elroy Fletcher (Danny Glover) keeps the business alive.

 

In his struggle to support a failing business Fletcher is aided by Mike (Mos Def) who works as Fletcher’s live in sales assistant. While the relationship between Fletcher and Mike is okay, its Mike relationship with local clown Jerry (Jack Black) that causes him a little concern. Fletcher is right to be concerned, Jerry is convinced that the local electric compound is administering mind control over the locals and in an attempt to investigate the compound becomes electrocuted, the result of this is that Jerry becomes like a giant magnet. What would be fatal in a video library of course would be a magnet. And as Be Kind Rewinds tapes are wiped by Jerry’s magnetism during Fletcher’s absence, Mike and Jerry are forced to go to desperate measures in order to replace the movies in the store. Rather than resulting to video piracy however, our duo decides to remake every lost film, casting themselves as the leading actors.

 

I’ll start my review on this movie by saying this is a movie that is rewarded with a second viewing. I sat open jawed at this movie first time round; I could not believe this was the movie that everyone was going mad about just a few months ago. This was the movie that The Guardians Jason Solomons claimed was the movie of the year; I really had to review the credibility of the movie critic. Having been appalled by the movie in an earlier viewing, I settled down again laptop in hand preparing to give the movie the ultimate slating. When it comes to Be Kind Rewind, in my case second time really was a charm.

 

Where the movie fell down for me first time round was due to the fact I was thinking too hard, Michel Gondry is effectively an art-house director delivering a comedy movie for the masses. Gondry is responsible for a variety of high brow music video’s as well as the weird Science Of Sleep and the critically acclaimed Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind. It’s this art-house look that litters the movie fully; it’s a little too literal in some respects for my liking. Second time round it’s that art-house addition that takes the movie in a better direction, I’m not going to say I laughed my socks off, but I’m happy to say I did laugh a couple of times.

 

Gondry has a wonderful eye, and a better brain to go with that eye. As well as correctly framing every single shot to gain its maximum potential, he also is thinking permanently ahead of the game. Every action has a counter action, though not necessarily felt at the moment it happens. As Mike and Jerry make a series of movies the way they create the special effects on a budget is amazing, and only someone like Gondry could deliver such a look.

 

Jack Black an actor I cannot stand, does a better performance than I have seen before but is still a little bit too loud for my liking, although his impersonation of Fats Waller at the arse end of the movie really made me laugh. Rapper Mos Def sparkles in the role of the slightly backwards Mike, if you have seen the movie 16 Blocks starring Def with Bruce Willis, you can expect to pretty much see a more in focus view of the same character. Danny Glover adds a little style and pizzazz to the piece, while Mia Farrow plays the manic depressed Miss Falewicz or as Jerry calls her Miss Falafel.

 

Sigourney Weaver is pretty much paid homage too, the first movie the characters remake or to use the preferred movie term SWEDE or SWEDED (the name given to express the exclusivity of the product they make which become desired items as the movie progresses), is Ghostbusters and having used a man to play her role, the actress turns up towards the back end of the movie as an authority figure.

 

There is a touch of realism about the movie, as more and more movies are made their popularity rises beyond all comprehension. People queue up to both rent the movies, which are made on demand, but also to star in them. As the internet has become more and more popular so in real life has the popularity of fan based movies and spoofs, youtube is filled with them and Gondry who also wrote the screenplay for the movie is fully aware of the popularity.

 

There is one element that lets things down for me, and it’s the whole Fats Waller element that bulks down the movies end, I found it quite annoying, tedious in fact. After an hour and twenty minutes of enjoyable viewing this was just far too heavy at the end of the movie, although the ultimate result is well delivered. The frequent Jazz music pieces too weigh heavy on the movie, and I believe this will cost the movie some of its younger audience.

 

Be Kind Rewind is still not in my mind the hysterical, fantastic movie that most claimed; however it was enjoyable and in some way rewarding, and having already watched it a second time I’d not rule out a third viewing in the near future.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan

If you enjoyed Ben Stiller in Zoolander then You Don't Mess With The Zohan is bound to be right up your street, and I have to confess it's the first Adam Sandler movie I have enjoyed for a great amount of time.

Zohan (Sandler) is a Mossad agent whose life is spent carrying out assignments for his government, there is no one like, neither has there ever been anyone like Zohan, he is the ultimate killing machine. Sadly for Zohan this is not the life he chooses for himself, he dreams of being a hairdresser feeling he has the special touch. So when an opportunity arises for him to fake his own death and head for America, where he plans to make it as "the" hairdresser. But great popularity causes great attention and it's not long before agents from Zohan's past come searching for him in the present.

Zohan is hardly a movie to cause you to laugh out loud; however what it does do is give you chance to double take a number of times. A little game of keepie ups providing the biggest double take, and the thing that awoke me from my partial slumber, hang on a minute that's not a football they are kicking, it's a cat! Even realising that this is clearly a computer generated effect it's a scene that you cannot help to look at open jawed, and in reflection it's the most memorable image from the whole movie.

Whereas most of Sandlers movies are fairly family friendly this one most certainly is not, it's incredibly crude at times with phenomenal amounts of sexual reference with Zohan's libido being out of control, literally having to have sex with more or less everything with a pulse. There are lots of penis references throughout the movie so much so that you reach a certain level where it becomes well beyond a joke. It's rather like a child that has learnt his/her new vulgar expression, repeatedly ramming it down your throat until you cannot stand anymore.

What I did like about the movie was the fact that a lot of the humour was fairly unique, so many movies just rehash the old humour time and time again the team of Dennis Dugan, Adam Sandler and Robert Smigel have all clearly put their heads together to deliver some new laughs, and to be honest it's most definitely about time.

If you like your humour a little sick this will definitely please you, Zohan can catch fish in his anus, jealous huh? Pubic hair jokes, impotence jokes, lots of vomiting, and some compelling piranha action all are thrown into the mixing pot providing you with the "ugh!" factor, nowfor some that's not a good thing, but for me I love a good laugh at something sick. That being said I can't claim I laughed a great deal, though I did smile. But then again there were so many people around laughing at the bits I never found funny, I kind of felt a bit smothered like I shouldn't laugh; as a rank outsider in the review writing world I already feel the pressure and certainly frowned upon, the truth that I'm a sicko could end my career before it starts. . This is definitely a movie I need to watch on DVD so I can really gauge the humour aspect.

The supporting cast are pretty much non-entities John Tuturro stars as The Phantom, Zohan's arch enemy and to be honest I feel like the actor has sold himself out cheap. Zohan has been adraw to the famous with Mariah Carey, John McEnroe, George Takei, Bruce Vilanch, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock and Kevin Nealon all fighting for a little bit of attention. George Takei's cameo being the most amusing especially if you have followed the Star Trek actor's recent personal life.

You Don't Mess With The Zohan over compensates with the comedy, and lets the actual plot sit on the back burner there really is very little to the movie, but if you compare it to Sandler's output over the past five years it is by far the best movie in that time. An added bonus of the movie is that it does not go over the top on the love angle either, while Zohan has a woman in his sights it's a very small part of the movie.

I look forward to seeing the DVD of this over the next couple of months so I can assess the movie properly having had time to give it my full attention, but for now one thing is for sure it's bound to be a hit.

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane

There are movies that you have certain expectations about, All The Boys Love Mandy Lane was one of those movies, I never had high expectations, what I anticipated was a typical trash horror movie in a vein similar to the Elm Street’s and the like of the 1980’s; there were aspects I was fully expecting but for the main part it came as a bit of a surprise.

 

The title of the movie is a true aspect of the movie, indeed Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is loved by all the boys, there is something uncharted and innocent about her; and in honestly do they really love her or just want to be the first one to get her into bed. As the movie begins a show of this “love” goes tragically wrong when an admirer of Mandy jumps off the roof of his house into a pool in an attempt to impress her. A weekend away for a small gathering however takes the obsession with Mandy Lane to new levels, as the number of attendees starts to decrease potentially due to the love of Mandy Lane.

 

Mandy Lane is if nothing else interestingly shot, this is not necessarily in a good way, it’s a systematic decapitation of the movie in fact. Things start looking great with a glossy sheen, then we are drifted through what appear to be out of order scenes, slow motion shots that are almost painful to watch, and incredibly drawn out black out shots used normally to separate scenes, I say normally because here these fade outs do not separate scenes often appearing smack bang in the centre of a scene.

 

The movie is a master-class in teen titillation aiming to appeal to every aspect of the target audience, treading into known territory as well as the unknown. All of our teens are sexually active, except of course Mandy Lane who appears to be as pure as the driven snow, bless her! So having seen all of our cast in their underwear at various times during the movie’s opening twenty minutes, things quickly progress to the next level, oral sex in an outhouse being the first if you’ll excuse the pun “meal on the table” pleasure for one, upset for the other. While some of the group have not only gone missing, but been seriously devoured another one of our cast heads off to the bathroom for a little pubic trimming, thankfully indicated too but not seen. Where predictability is most profound is in the age old adage that if you have sex you die, sex and death go hand in hand and nobody lives more than a couple of minutes after a sexual encounter.

 

So I have stood firm and picked at the bones of the movie, but I need to point out it’s not all bad; there is a nice double twist near the end of the movie as well as some of the most stunning photography I have ever seen in an American horror movie. The movie takes its time to get to its heart, which is a good thing because the element of surprise is cleverly executed here. What All The Boys Love Mandy Lane does well is delivers such a surprising side story that you are drawn into a false sense and forgive the many faults of the movie, almost dismissing them aside. I can clearly see the faults, but these things are all down to personal choice, and what one loves the other hates.

 

The biggest trouble with this movie is that it requires a lot of thought, not on the story but on the aspects of putting the story together, a rewarding aspect is placed right next to something that fails miserably. A prime example being a well structured siege scene, followed by the clever escape of two of the characters; but before you know it these two characters steal a moment to pause seconds away from absolute safety to steal a kiss, this is of course a mistake that costs life. What is really annoying about this is that it’s so incredibly bad, it makes no sense, why would you run for a considerable distance with a killer behind you and then pause for a kiss when safety is not yet guaranteed. It’s this basis that drags the movie back into the incredibly clichéd world of American 80’s horror, and it’s disappointing because you think at various times that you have found a different product.

 

What I really loved about the movie was the soundtrack seamlessly moving songs of the present with songs of the past, the most poignant being “Sealed With A Kiss” that takes the movie through its final scenes. Each track is a winner, and I kind of wish there was a soundtrack album to back the movie up.

 

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane is a deceitful piece of filmmaking, making you think it’s more than the sum of its parts, but when you think again there is very little to it. While I enjoyed some aspects of it, others left me appalled, however in the bigger scheme of things it fares better than most of this year’s “horror” movies which has to be worth something.

 

The Happening

Imagine working on a building site and having the horror of seeing one of your best friends fall from a building onto the floor dying instantly. Worse still imagine watching on in horror as nearly every one of your work colleagues fall from the sky hitting the floor and dying straight away. No warnings, no time to say goodbye; there one minute gone the next.

 

This is the horrific opening to M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie The Happening, and in the flip a coin style basis of the writer/directors career this is a good movie. It’s not been since 30 Days Of Night that I have seen anything quite this dark and sinister, Stephen King’s The Mist went part way, but The Happening takes us on very dark territory; this is by far Shyamalan’s most dark and sinister work.

 

I think what makes this offering so effective is that it is based around a horror that we all know, expect, and feel. The events of 9/11 and the London bombings bring the thought of terrorism home to us, the audacity of these horrific events lead us to believe that anything is possible. Shymalan’s movie goes out of its way to indicate that the horror in this movie is based in the roots of terrorism.

 

The cast is led by Mark Wahlberg who plays lecturer Elliot Moore, who one day while working at school comes to discover that the world he knew had changed during the course of a lesson. There is something most strange about watching Wahlberg teach, it’s an incredible piece of casting, he really looks and acts the part.

 

When it becomes evident that the effect of the “terrorism” is regional, Elliot decides to get his wife and family out of the city and head for safety. In typical Shyamalan style there are a series of strange and sometimes unexplained subplots weaved into this as Elliot’s wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel) starts the movie as she means to go on, slightly weird. Julian (John Leguizamo) too is a little bit weird, with cagey behaviour and a feeling of disconnection between his character and the real world. It’s actually rather bizarre that the only constant in the movie is Elliot, who remains strong, steadfast, and loyal to the movies end. Jess (Ashlyn Sanchez) is the daughter of Julian and to be fair she is like the movies big red herring, you have all sorts of expectations regarding her that are never really met, she is simply the child thrown into the piece in order for you to feel concerned about her, but there is no character development to follow it up, she is just simply present.

 

The illness, or infection if you prefer in the movie is not the routine type that you see in movies, no walking zombies or deliberate acts of violence on others, once infected the only course of action is to exit this life. I was not frightened but disturbed by the harshness of the death in the movie, people having behaved normal suddenly slicing their wrists, hanging themselves, or blowing their own heads of with guns. And while to be honest you don’t really see anything, this is very much a case of less being more and your imagination is enough to make this an incredibly dark movie.

 

Unlike The Sixth Sense or The Village, both of which in my opinion are the best of the directors work; The Happening does not have one of those shock twist endings, yes there is bite back; but nothing to put a tingle in your spine, though in fairness watching the movie throughout puts enough tingles in your spine that to be honest with you, a shock ending is not needed.

 

The Happening is rather like the character of Julian a really disconnected movie, Elliot is warm but there is this big void in both his and everyone else’s personality, presumably to add more suspense to the piece. The only way to describe the shell of the movie is hollow, you really feel like you’re on the outside looking in, not allowed at any point to be sucked into the movie like you’re going along for the ride, I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

 

As a whole the movie really impressed me and is one of the best Shyamalan movies, but there are the odd thing that occurs that cheapens this otherwise big impressive looking movie. The worst offender of this is a man seen on iPhone while Elliot and the others are stranded in the middle of nowhere. “Oh my God my sister just sent me this!” a woman screams, and as people gather round mobile phones we see a tiger handler attempting to perform a trick with his pets, however they rip his arms off, but with remarkable ease, none of this slow tearing simple pulling off with little effort put into it at all. It was at this point that I thought the film had veered off into cheap Z movie standards, it was just so terribly out of place, but then when I thought about it a little Shyamalan is very capable of bringing suspense, but his history of special effects has been dramatically less impressive.

 

The performers all do a great job, if you forgive the deliberate detachment of emotion, there are some great blink or you’ll miss it cameos; Ferris Buellers Alan Ruck swings by to talk about “The Happening”, M. Night Shyamalan does his usual cameo role as effectively the enemy, French Dogma star Stephane Debac gives a brief cameo as a bicycle enthusiast, while 70’s video nasty star Stephen Singer gives television watchers a harsh wake up call.

 

While not a twisted surprise the movie ends with a last wake up call for anyone thinking that this one might be different from the usual Shyamalan fare. While the director is often criticised for his varied output, you cannot deny that he does put considerable thought into his movies, The Happening is certainly no exception. And most importantly for me, it brings us the biggest blockbuster chill of the year.

 

The Happening is at cinemas now.

Jack & Jill Verses The World

Remember Freddie Prinze Jr.? He was going to be the next big thing, but Scooby Doo ruined his acting career and Prinze became a sort of parody of himself. Over the last couple of years he has attempted to clamber his way back to the top of the ladder but it’s been a hard task, in Vanessa Parise’s movie, could he finally have found his path back.

Jack is a business executive, he has everything he needs; smart clothes, healthy living, a fast car, and a job he loves. With only a normal school education how has he garnered this success? For every lifestyle situation Jack is given a book by his father Norman (Robert Forster), as result everything Jack knows he has learned from books. In practise this is fine, but when it comes to the fundamentals of building a relationship Jack fails miserably and has spent his entire adult life single. Into Jack’s life steps Jill (Taryn Manning) a quirky woman from out of town struggling to make a career in acting. She immediately homes in on Jack’s weaknesses and trains him to be better, it’s a relationship made in heaven. She treats him to be careful about food, charitable, and above all how to be honest. This is fine to a limit, but Jill is keeping something from Jack, she suffers from Cystic Fibrosis and in her late 20’s she must realise that she is nearing the end of her life, if only she could bring herself to tell Jack.

As a romantic comedy Jack And Jill Verses The World is a miserable failure, as a tool for informing the world on a illness that strikes a startling amount of people. Call me naive but having heard of Cystic Fibrosis repeatedly during my life I actually knew little about the illness prior to this movie, now I feel like I could hold a seminar on the subject. I guess in the back of my mind I realised this was a serious illness but chucked it in the same bag as Cerebral Palsy and similar illnesses without bothering to investigate, I was must upset that I had not given thought to this illness that claims 20,000 lives worldwide each year most of its victims never living beyond their 30’s, most too ill to experience the joy of running, drinking, travelling, and sex. On this basis the movie scores a point on its own, because if I think about all the thousands of movies I have seen in my life I believe this is the only one that raises this tragic illness.

The result of the illness that Jill suffers from changes the basis of the whole movie allowing you to look with very different eyes at the world that surrounds us or most importantly here Jill. I guess knocking the movie for its lack of comedy is unfair, but it does tout itself as a comedy, but let’s face it it’s only likely to have a limited series of vaguely humorous moments.

As a drama however the movie works well, but not as a big movie this seemingly belongs in the TV movie genre, because it’s a movie with message. Vanessa Parise simply does not have the power to convey the message to a successful big screen movie, and this is why in the US the movie quickly shot through cinemas with a whimper rather than a bang. Having co-wrote and directed the movie as well as starred in a crucial role to me its evident that Parise was too close to the movie to clearly see where it was going.

It’s stars perform well Prinze is starting to show his age and is now bulkier than most people might remember him from teen comedies She’s All That and Down To You, at times I had to double take because I was not 100% certain that I was watching Prinze on more than one occasion. I’d have to say that Prinze is a capable actor rather than a good one and if he hoped that this movie would be the one that transported him back to the A-List he will be sadly mistaken.

Taryn Manning whose previous movies included After Sex, Hustle And Flow, and Weirdsville is the quirky wonder of the piece, putting aside the illness her character suffers with, Taryn lights up the screen with each scene she appears in; sadly this is not the movie to escalate her Hollywood standing either.

The story itself to be honest is a little threadbare it does not have the required amount of detail to push the viewer through, so while creating a perfect lazy Sunday afternoon TV movie it does not deliver that little bit of pizzazz that we expect from a big budget offering like this.

Jack And Jill Verses The World is currently with the British Board Of Film Classification, its future will be decided upon from there I guess. I suspect this will be a straight to DVD movie, though I cannot at this stage guarantee how UK audiences will see it

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Movie reviews coming this way shortly