Trader Hornee

Back in 1931 Harry Carey starred as Aloysius “Trader” Horn in the movie Trader Horn, this epic African adventure (which later partially inspired the Indiana Jones movies) saw Horn encounter a group of African tribesmen ruled over by a white goddess; who just so happened to be an wealthy American heiress stranded there some years prior. Trader Horn went on to not just inspire the birth of one of modern cinemas greatest heroes, but also struck a chord with adult movie makers Jonathan Lucas and David P. Freidman, so much show that they created Trader Hornee a carbon copy of the movie, but with added humour and of course a little bit of sex.

 

Made in 1970, as an adult movie Trader Hornee (Hornee pronounced Horn the E’s are silent) is a really bizarre offering. For a sex comedy, and one made by adult filmmakers, there is very little “sex” to offend most people. Bridging a gap between the works of the late Russ Meyer and Laurel and Hardy, I’m sure you might already be able to form an image in your mind as to what this movie is like. Featuring Russ Meyers wobbly, disjointed, and often poorly cut filmmaking and the sort of slapstick comedy of Laurel and Hardy, Trader Hornee is an oddball movie that is difficult to compare to any other style I have ever seen.

 

You might well have an image of a mucky, dirty movie; but Trader Hornee is far from this, yes there is nudity, yes there is plenty of sexual reference but what there is little sex. The hero of the movie Hamilton Hornee (Buddy Pantasari) gets plenty of sex, but none you have to see. The movie is incredibly tame and not deserving of the reputation it has, despite being released uncut the movie looks no worse than any Carry On movie, in fact you might find more to offend in those. When it comes to sex the act is quickly breezed over, characters strip down to their underwear before flicking to another scene, upon return to the couple having sex the act is over and they are very much in relaxation time. Even language is tamed down, as soon as a swear word is incoming the actual word is replaced by the sound of a horn or whistle blowing.

 

Watching Trader Hornee I’m reminded of my youth, there is lots of cute stock footage of animals designed to create the impression that the cast and crew are in Africa. Whereas now in nature shows you see the harsh realities of two different breeds of animal meeting, often resulting in death; here you get the impression that all African animals get on like a house on fire, and as if to prove a point a piece of footage shows a chimpanzee and a tiger (both very young) playing happily together, the chimp slaps the tiger on the head before laughing at it. There are lots of lovely moments like this, shot on slightly grainy often orange tinged film stock, it really is delightful to watch, and for older movie lovers like myself it’s a wonderful look back at the past.

 

The term “Random” is one so often heard nowadays and is probably the best term I could ever think of to describe this movie. There are scores of scenes that literally look like they are just done for the hell of it. Often the picture shoots off into a red, purple, orange or blue lens; occasionally it shakes about like the cameraman is at a disco. When the African’s and a group of explorers led by Hornee first encounter each other they all start dancing together even though the explorers believe they are going to end up in the giant stock pot.  And when you think things have got odd enough, how about a man in a white monkey suit stealing gold which is actually a Nazi officer who loves gold.

 

I don’t really think it’s fair to comment on acting, because the movie is obviously all done in the name of fun, characters say things like “Leaping Lizards” with big cheesy grins on their faces, nothing is played straight in this movie. Worth pointing out though is the presence of John Alderman an actor who was once tipped to be the new Clark Gable, had it not been for his addiction with alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes often smoking as many as 100 cigarettes in one day. Instead the actor ended up in B-Movies, and exploitation pictures because of his difficult nature.

 

If you like to sit and watch what is effectively a bad movie, and have a really good laugh in the process then Trader Hornee is a very worthwhile movie to watch, you’ll laugh, and you’ll sit open jawed at the absolute ridiculousness of the whole thing.