Tropic Thunder

Amid a wave on controversy Tropic Thunder opened in US cinemas to a lot of criticism. Firstly there was the issue of casting Robert Downey Jr. To play a black actor, then something nobody expected a protest by disabled people and campaigners over the apparent over the top uses of the term “retard” and the portrayal of people that have disabilities. And when you thought nothing more could happen, the Tom Cruise backlash began, with one of the worlds most recognised actors took on an unusual role, was it good? Or was his performance just plain awful?

After a series of bungles on the movie Tropic Thunder, the final one being a massive explosion of special effects while the camera is not rolling; director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) has pressure put on him movie mogul by Les Grossman (Tom Cruise) to make the movie work. In a conversation with Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte) the hero the movies story is based upon, Four Leaf suggests a controversial way to get the movie made and with realism.

In the middle of the jungle a group of once A-Listed actors led by Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), Kirk Lazurus (Robert Downey Jr.) and Jeff Portney (Jack Black) are dropped off with the movies director Damien to bring the movie in on a lesser budget. Unbeknown to all however, they have landed in the middle of a real war.

Tropic Thunder follows in a string of pretty mid range comedies from actor/director Ben Stiller, the only real laugh in this movie I can’t tell you about; beyond that it’s just mainly Stiller, Black, and Downey goofing off for the benefit of the audience. While it is far from funny though it’s not a bad movie, it’s at times relatively enjoyable but certainly in my view does not fit into the category of comedy; I guess if I had to categorize it I’d create a new one “Drama-With-Smiles”. In respect of story there are no airy scenes where you find that you’re watching for something off screen to happen, it all flows along at a good pace.

You cannot question the money sunk into this movie neither can you question the special effects, which are as great as any big blockbuster movie to fall out of Hollywood over the last few years, think Die Hard 4.0 and the latest Rambo offering and you’re not far off, the movie’s opening effects being some of the most spectacular action effects we have seen in a movie so far this year.

The movies main momentum however is its cast going through the motions in for some very new ground. Robert Downey Jr. Is great as the perfectionist actor who in order to achieve true believability has a revolutionary surgical procedure that turns him from fair skinned Australian actor, to tough talking black American Kirk. His character never fails to please and essentially is the movies biggest star, he certainly achieves just slightly more screen time than the apparent lead Stiller. Stiller rather unsurprisingly turns out his usual one acting style type of performance, there is nothing her to separate him from the Fockers, or anything since. Jack Black is quite literally just there, as a drug addict actor who continues to fall from grace.

It’s the un-credited actors that provide the most interest in the movie. Tom Cruise’s apparent cameo is far from being so, in fact he gets more screen time than Jack Black; the performance however is neither good nor bad, as the slightly overweight Les Grossman, Cruise’s appearance is really quite bizarre, he looks almost like he might be an unknown actor in disguise, trying to play Tom Cruise who in turn is in disguise, anyone who watched Epic Movie will know exactly what I’m talking about. It seems that the watchword for Cruise was stupid, and in the words of Forrest Gump “Stupid is as stupid does!” Cruise exits the movie in the most stomach turning, hands over your eyes disturbing dance routines that really needs to be seen to be believed, thank God he is only 3 months away from Valkyrie a role that will arguably save Cruise’s recent declining career.

Nick Nolte is great as the slightly deceitful war veteran forced into war by accident. While the movies unsung hero is Matthew McConaughey as Speedman’s agent Rick Peck who spends much of the movie back in Hollywood fighting with Grossman to get a TIVO player promised in Speedman’s contract; an issue of ultimate importance to Peck, but one never once addressed by Speedman. There are a series of cameos also that include Jon Voight, Tyra Banks, Alicia Silverstone, Lance Bass, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mickey Rooney, Tobey Maguire and Amy Stiller.

Of the controversy surrounding the movie, the disabled attributes are no worse than anything we have seen before, in fact played down considerably from another Stiller movie There’s Something About Mary. In fact one of the most winning facts of the movie is that this factor is present, as a frequently referenced career downturn of Speedman who’s previous movie saw him play a man with learning difficulties, a sign of our rather pathetic over politically correct world however means that this relatively minor issue will be overplayed by doogooders trying to make a cause up about nothing, sadly its these exact same idiots that eventually as a hole will win over in Hollywood and see movies like this and Something About Mary pretty much outlawed in the future. Of the issue regarding Robert Downey Jr. It’s completely justified and anyone with an issue over this really should get a life, it’s carefully done, and with the maximum of respect.

Tropic Thunder is one of those movies that should you encounter it on a night at home in front of the television you would be relatively pleased, but have to pay out money to see it at the cinema, or buy it on DVD you may well feel robbed. Tropic Thunder is not a great movie, but its far from being a bad one, those wanting to see the old Stiller back however, settle for his continued blows with Larry David in the award winning Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Tropic Thunder is in UK cinemas from 19^th of September.

Otis

Made for very little cash, and aimed strictly at the home video viewing audience Otis is an unusual, often sick, and incredibly funny movie that creates a warped and bizarre synergy between the world of the Saw movies, and popular TV show Desperate Housewives. Having put off watching the movie for a couple of months a recent review caused me to dust off the disc and insert it in my player straight away.

 

Otis Broth (Bostin Christopher) is a bit of a simple man, a man with his head stuck in dreams of the past; most notably the vision that he can relive his missed prom night with head cheerleader Kim. Kim is of course long gone now, but Otis is still feeling deprived. As the movie opens we see a young woman chained to a bed having been subjected to several weeks of abuse in preparation for prom night. Realising that prom night also means that she will have to finally have sex with the overweight Otis, the woman feigns being weaker than she is in order to try and overpower Otis and make her escape. Initially looking like she has the winning hand, the young woman and a lamp fall into a filled bath, it’s curtains for this version of “Kim”.  Not content, and seemingly not the first time Otis has done this, Otis targets Riley Lawson (Dirt’s Ashley Johnson) and it’s not long before she fills the role of the new Kim. But Otis has not been as forward thinking as he likes to believe, can a strange twist of fate turn the lives of everyone upside down?

 

In this intense cheapness of the movie, as well as having the currently successful Ashley Johnson as joint lead the movie also stars Home Alone’s Daniel Stern and To Die For’s Illeana Douglas as the loving parents of Riley, Will and Kate. Comedian Kevin Pollack also stars as Otis’ abusive older brother Elmo. While these are hardly A-List actors, it is blatantly apparent as you sit and watch Otis is the fact that they all command more money than the movie could have been made for, this leads me to the conclusion that they all had great belief or maybe even love for this low budget comedy thriller. What’s more I can see why, appreciating its incredibly low budget, Otis is by far the wittiest movie I have seen for a considerable time, with some pretty harsh one liners that would only come from the mouth of the most prolific sicko.

 

I am not ruining the story (publicity everywhere spills this part of the story) by telling you that Riley becomes the one to get away, but what makes Otis is what happens after she gets away, this is almost where the movie really begins.

 

While compared to Saw in a few places including my opening paragraph, I need to say this is nowhere near so graphically horrific, characters that are enduring torture etc. are never actually seen receiving this, they are only shown after the event. But the wonder in the power of suggestion is that you kind of think you have seen something.

 

A familiar face in the movie, but a name I can’t pretend to have heard of is Jere Burns who plays FBI Agent Hotchkiss; it’s the character of Hotchkiss that really makes Otis what it is. Hotchkiss comes out with some of the most disturbing lines that you can possibly think of, the sort of sickening lines that if you were physically there you would need to bury your head in your hands. Hotchkiss consoles Will, Kate and Riley’s brother Reed (Jared Kusnitz) with witty quips like “We found his last victims behind a dumpster without her tits!”The sort of encouraging conversation you want to hear from the man investigating the case of your daughter disappearance. When asked by a TV Anchor what separates’ Hotchkiss from the rapist murderer Otis, he replies “A Condom”.

 

Granted Otis is not the sort of humour that everyone likes, but if you get the pleasure of seeing unfortunate things happen to people on hidden camera shows, or you enjoy seeing kids getting a good public dressing down by their parents then you are just sick enough to not only watch Otis, but love it.  From the excellent cast, all of whom are incredibly well picked for their respective roles, to the general piecing together of the movies story. For music lovers, the movie has the ultimate 80’s homage soundtrack with all those classic songs that any 30 something will have grown up with.

Grindhouse Trailer Classics

Who would have thought that trailers for movies could become as popular as the real thing? But this is exactly what has happened with Nucleus Films release Grindhouse Trailer Classics. Taking a leaf out of US DVD releases 42^nd Street Forever, a series of DVD’s that bought the power of cult, low budget and niche movie trailers into the homes of viewers, themselves inspired by Quentin Tarentino’s Grindhouse movie.

 

Watching trailers for movies from yesteryear may seem like a strangething to do, but if you’re a fan of classic movies of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s that were far from blockbusters like myself, two hours of Trailer viewing will be right up your street. Grindhouse Trailer Classics opens a sort of vortex to the past, a glimpse at life before the dawn of the multiplex cinemas of Warner, Venue, or Cineworld.

 

The success of this DVD was so unexpected that Nucleus films headed up by film historian Marc Morris and movie maker Jake West are about to release a second volume of this compilation series.

 

To be honest with you, there is not much you can say about a two hour DVD of trailers, however I can tell you about some of the trailers. The combination of trailers varies from horror movies, thriller, soft porn classics, and sex comedies.

 

Switchblade Sisters sees a gang of teenage girls who have a thirst for blood, and a love for sharp knives. Eyeball offers a red raincoat wearing serial killer as they select a series of victims, “No Suspense has ever gone this far” tells the narrator of the trailer. Wes Craven’s Last House On The Left trailer features footage actually edited out of the UK DVD release for the movie, making this a must for fans of the movie. Italian horror movies are well represented with trailers for Torso, Autopsy, Zombie AKA Zombie Flesh Eaters, and Doctor Butcher MD AKA Zombie Holocaust. How about Deadly Weapons a movie about a female assassin who kills her targets by smothering them with her enormous breasts. They Call Her One Eye features Christina Lindberg in the toned down version of this thriller/porn movie that inspired the Daryl Hannah character in Kill Bill. The Thing With Two heads sees the great Ray Milland near the end of his acting days as a head transplant patient whose head has been attached to the body of a black man who gets to keep his head too, the two headed man has a further issue because Ray Milland’s character is a racist. Pete Walker’s House Of The Whipcord offers British involvement to the piece and looks far sleazier than the reality. Fans of the Blaxploitation era will be treated to Truck Turner starring Isaac Hayes best known now as the voice of Chef from South Park, and Pam Grier movies Coffy, and The Big Doll House.  While more modern movies are featured with the appearance of Death Ship and The Perils Of Gwendoline.

 

Among the 55 trailers featured are some trailers never before seen in the UK. Granted watching trailers might not seem like that much fun, but believe me if you have a good sense of humour and a thirst for movie trivia this DVD will keep you amused for weeks.

 

 

Special Features

 

Bump And Grind – A 17 minute documentary presented by low budget horror actress Emily Booth gives you a look and a taste of the effect these low budget movies had on audiences. In between clips for trailers like Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman, Emily tells the story of Grindhouse trailers from their initial conception to their demise at the dawn of the 1980’s after the birth of videotape allowed cinemagoers the opportunity to see these weird movies in the comfort of your own home, rather than in semen stained seats, with audiences that were less than controlled. The documentary is based on the book Nightmare USA by cult movie novelist Stephen Thrower.

 

A series of posters are gathered together for you to get the unique feel of a bygone age, far from the modern politically correct age we now live in the posters could be every bit as shocking as the movies they publicise.

 

Finally there is a list of other movies from Nucleus a trailer for each one is featured the trailers include Between Your Legs, The Ugliest Woman In The World, Gwendoline, Fausto 5.0, London Voodoo, and Death Ship.

The Tracy Fragments

When the Tracey Fragments hits UK shores I just know that some will consider it a classic, and while I think the story is an important one to tell I hated the style of delivery which left me with the most annoying feeling I had from a movie since the much heralded (but hated by myself) Brick.

Ellen Page who has received much acclaim two years in a row for movies Hard Candy and Juno stars as Tracey Berkowitz, a young grungy style girl who is the brunt of everyone's jokes at school. For reasons unknown until the end of the movie Tracey finds out on the streets looking for her missing brother Sonny who suddenly disappeared without a trace one winter's day.

The movie is told in the style of the movie Memento in that it picks up the story in fits and starts flashing back and forth from the past to the present each time telling a little bit more of the story. What is annoying though is the style of film-making, the mix of the soundtracks and speech that is drawn together from different aspects of the story; I grew increasingly annoyed with hearing "Why would I lie?" and "I love you Tracey Berkowitz!" each and every time the story juts back into time travel mode. On top of this the screen increasingly becomes multi-sectioned often either showing the same scene up to five times from different angles all pieced together in a sort of collage of images, or as different parts of the same story continuing at the same time. While after 45 minutes you get really used to this, during that same 45 minute the result I found incredibly painful; you know that feeling when you have an incredibly bad headache and someone seems to go out of their way to either make noise or talk to you? This is exactly the same way I felt watching The Tracy Fragments.

Now onto the shock, yes its annoying, yes it reminded me of the anally retentive movie Brick, but I kind of really enjoyed this movie once I got chance to adapt to the apparently revolutionary directorial style. Often directors that take this style of filmmaking have a background in music video's but for Tracey Fragments director Bruce McDonald his teeth were cut on popular TV shows like ITV's The Bill, Queer As Folk, and Degrassi - The Next Generation; all of which have no reflection here.

Once you have adapted to the annoying filmmaking you get to look at the story itself, and understand how it all pieces together, and sadly the story is a real tragedy. When I say tragedy I don't mean that it's a bad story, more that it's a sad story that you can see happening in real life when you pick up papers read internet news stories, or watch TV. It's so sad how incredibly misunderstood Tracey is and how she longs to be part of the school cliché without actually wanting to be, if you get my drift; it's more like that teenage rebellion of wanting to belong without admitting to it, and how this longing to belong lands her in an awful lot of hot water, all the time Tracey in her heart being a really good girl, with a strong moral stance and understanding of what is right and what is wrong.

The casting is filled with the exception of Page with virtual unknowns, although some may recognise Julian Richings, who here plays psychiatrist Dr. Heker, but has been used through his working history in roles that demand a slightly unusual look, yes you guessed it I mean ugly.

I won't go onto the music other than to say it's incredibly annoying combination of bad alternative rock styles.

As The Tracy Fragments continued I found myself more and more won over by the film, and troubled by a lot of the movies content. I loved the way it pieces the story together, with each reveal I got that "Ahhhhhh!" bit of satisfaction, that only the most faithfully watched TV shows can usually provide. Art and film students will love it, older people will hate it, but few will deny (if they can stick with it) that its story is something so incredibly common, but never really told in a movie and from that basis alone The Tracy Fragments in my mind deserves some very high acclaim.

Lost Boys - The Tribe

To help mark the 21^st anniversary of a horror classic, Lost Boys – The Tribe is a chance to revisit the feelings and emotions the original Lost Boys gave back in 1987. It’s strange to write a review of a sequel to a movie that a large percentage of those reading this will either have not seen or not heard of The Lost Boys. For those who do remember the movie, you rather like me are probably a little bit surprised that it has taken 21 years for a follow on movie to appear.

 

After the death of their parents Chris (Tad Hilgenbrink) and Nicole (Autumn Reeser) settle down in a small part of district of Malibu under the watchful eye of their crazy aunt. Chris is a small time hero, a surfer with a well established following, so it’s not surprising that Shane (Angus Sutherland) a mainstream surfing legend soon takes Chris under his wing. As Chris and Nicole attend a party at Shane’s house, a sinister undercurrent sweeps the event. While Lisa makes moves on Chris, Shane makes his moves on Nicole, tonight one of these siblings will become a vampire, and only one man can save them, Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman).

 

If you saw and enjoyed the original Lost Boys I guess it will not be the biggest surprise that this straight to DVD movie offering is the palest of comparisons to the original, though let it not be said it could have been an awful lot worse. Except the movie as a standalone piece and you may very well enjoy this, expect a follow on from the original with equal charm and charisma then you’ll get a rude awakening. Essentially Lost Boys – The Tribe is nothing more than a remake for a new generation, the story follows a very similar path, but because horror movie audiences have a stronger thirst for blood and a need for better effects things have dramatically moved on.

 

Thirty minutes in and your sat watching this poor man’s horror film and pretty much giving up the will to live, but then in marches Corey Feldman looking exactly the same as he did 21 years earlier, there is some differences of course, he now talks like he has been gargling with razorblades, and he has been given some genuinely funny lines, rather than just being a general joke. In a fiery showdown towards the end of the movie where Chris is fighting three vampires Feldman’s Edgar Frog marches in “Who ordered the stake?” he asks referring to the tool of death for a vampire rather than a lump of meat. With each new arrival on scene Feldman is given a typically similar cheesy quip that really endears the character to you. It’s strange but at these moments, it is just like you’re watching the original movie it does not matter if your original favourite Lost Boy was Kiefer Sutherland, Jason Patric, or Alex Winter; the essence of the original Lost Boys is carried over on the shoulders of Feldman for every scene he inhabits. What could realistically have been a terrible car crash style mistake, actually for old fans of the original movie makes this the films only salvation.

 

For new viewers if you enjoy TV shows like Angel, The O.C. and Gossip Girl then this movie will be right up your street, a veritable mix of teen angst and vampire health issues. A heady cocktail of the three shows is shook up for you to deliver a new hybrid. It’s not essential to new viewers to see the original movie and to be honest with you it does not even help; however watch this, and if you enjoy it invest in a copy of the original and see how it should work properly, and at the same time enjoy what made horror the must have movie accessory of 1987, just three years after the genre was considered dead. All these alternative from the traditional vampire type movies (like Dracula), owe a great debt to The Lost Boys.

 

There was something else about the original Lost Boys that made it such a smash, it was a bestselling soundtrack. While Lost Boys – The Tribe does not even attempt to match up to the power of the originals score, there is a wonderful rescoring of the hit song “Cry Little Sister”; if you had any doubt in the back of your mind that you were watching a Lost Boys sequel then this will remind you.

 

To keep up the family side newcomer from the Sutherland family Angus follows in the path of his father Donald, and brother Kiefer. In fairness there is not much to separate the performance of Kiefer and Angus, they both have that special Sutherland chemistry. The other little familiar addition sadly saw censorship, as fans of the reality TV show The Two Corey’s will no doubt be aware fellow Lost Boy’s original and semi-hero of the original movie Corey Haim was due to make an appearance. Sadly Haim over the years has abused himself through drugs, alcohol, and sexual disregard Corey Haim initially the more popular of the two Corey’s had real problems with his lines (probably a dual meaning there). After cut after cut of Haim bungling his lines or being completely incoherent Haim was shown the door, with only one completed scene left in place. Fan’s of these namesakes will be pleased to find that Haim’s one completed scene is included in the movie, but as a special interlude during the final credits, turn off too quickly and you will miss this special scene, and the real tragedy is that Haim looks incredibly together, sadly had he been a little more on the money Lost Boys – The Tribe might well have been a very different movie.

 

The preview DVD I received had no special features, so I cannot tell you if there will be at the time of release in the UK on the 8^th of September. The DVD will be available as a separate feature, or as a double bill with the original.

Zero Population Growth

You could say it was a unique glimpse of a future we now face, while those a little bit more sceptical would say that the world that Zero Population Growth displays was inevitable. Set in the future (though when is unknown) this 1972 movie finds Oliver Reed and Geraldine Chaplin playing a young couple whose hopes and dreams of the future are delivered a crashing blow.

 

After what could have been several nuclear wars, or at least some sort of radioactive disaster, the population live in a sort of Big Brother existence. The air outside is so polluted that it’s not advised to step out of your door without your compulsory gas mask. The citizens of the location the movie is set in live their lives looking back to the past, with museums of living history that talk about a long forgotten age where there were cars that took petrol, and couples that lived monogamous lives.

 

Into this world of dying commodities, and a population too high to live more than two generations, the governing bodies decide that there must be a complete curb on reproduction. For a whole generation it is made illegal to have children, the penalty for even attempting to consider childbirth is death, for the parents and the child.

 

The news of this terrible law comes as a terrible shock to most of the population, while for two couples Russ and Carol (Oliver Reed and Geraldine Chaplin), and George and Edna (Don Gordon and Diane Cilento) the news is truly devastating. While George and Edna adopt a robotic child, Russ and Carol have far more dangerous dreams.

 

Zero Population Growth follows in the wake of movies like Fahrenheit 451, giving a clinical and disturbing view of the future. Its ultimate storyline would not come as a surprise to anyone, two people daring to go out on a limb in order to have a child of their own. But what does come as a bit of a surprise is how unforgiving dull this movie is after so much potential. If you’ll forgive me, the world mind numbing would not even come close to being a fair description for this movie. Having spent a good forty five minutes slowly building up to what we knew was going to happen, what should have been the start of the action was pretty much the end of it.

 

Hollow is a fairly accurate way to describe this movie, I cannot help but think the movies director Michael Campus (a name who directorial history is unsurprising small) was deeply inspired by Staley Kubrick’s 2001, with lots of scenes with drawn out silences while doing mundane things, intermingled by big spectacular shots and equally spectacular music. Zero Population Growth is more of an artwork than a movie, but to be honest with you it does not really succeed in that department either.

 

The only thing that appealed to me about the movie was the disintegration of relationships as jealousy arises between the two couples who at one time happily engaged in a little partner swapping, this is after all the future! It’s this bitterness that you can not only understand and could see coming, really gets to the heart. You don’t know whether you feel sorry for Russ and Carol for being put in a dangerously distressing situation thanks to George and Edna’s want and need to be the parents of the child.

 

Regardless of brief plus points, there are overpowering failures that make the movie a laughing stock. During one scene where authorities are alerted to a breach of the law the carryon of shouting and general other associated noise is so horrendous that you really think it might be time to turn off the movie once and for all.

 

The movies performances do not even warrant acclaim, Oliver Reed is absurdly aloof through the entire movie, Chaplin incredibly whining and annoying, Gordon is obnoxious granted an issue of writing but he does actually seem to be revelling in this; while finally Cilento who I really rather enjoy in the original Wicker Man is just a joke too far to even discuss, shame on her.

 

I’m sure my comments will come painful to those that appreciate this movie, of which I gather has quite a fan base; but I put it that movies need more than stylish looks and a bit of prophecy in order to succeed, they need a decent storyline and some well rounded characters to make things work. While Zero Population Growth looks the part, sadly it’s not and the final thirty minutes of predictability are just some of the most obvious storytelling I have ever seen.

Zombies - Wicked Little Things

Released in the United States as Wicked Little Things, Zombies as it’s known on UK shores wowed audiences at the now popular After Dark Horrorfest, a weekend long American festival of 8 alternative horror movies. Despite the fact that it had such acclaim, it’s taken two years (having appeared at the 2006 Horrorfest) until the UK and Europe get to enjoy the movie. Directed by J.S. Cardone whose previous directorial works included the video nasty The Slayer (1982) and the gritty thriller A Row Of Crows, while his written work features in the movies Prom Night, The Covenant, The Forsaken and the upcoming remake of the 1986 classic The Stepfather.

 

After the death of a much loved father and husband Karen Tunny (Lori Heuring) and her two daughters Sarah (Scout Taylor Compton) and Emma are forced due to financial pressures to flee the city and settle in the woods of a small Pennsylvania community in a house Karen’s husband owned.  The house a traditional dwelling used by miners back at the turn of the 20^th century is in much need of repair, but offers solace for Karen; while Sarah takes a dim view of things, and Emma embraces the move. For young Emma a sweet 8 year old it offers a chance of new friendship in the form of Mary who to everyone else is just an imaginary friend. It seems however that Addytown’s newest arrivals have either caused or arrived at the time of a great awakening, things are about to become dramatically more chilling.

 

I first saw Wicked Little Things as it was then known about 16 months ago, and to be perfectly honest with you I got half way through and could not be bothered to proceed on, to me it was like every other low budget horror movie of the time and I was stacked under a heavy workload. Unbeknown to me was that at that very moment I lost interest and turned off the stories tone changed and effectively was only just the beginning. For an avid horror fan like me this was the place to begin a grizzly death of some animal stock takes the movie back to the sort of shock! Horror! We witnessed at the start of the 1980’s when so many movies were edited or outlawed all together.

 

While I won’t pretend that Zombies is the best horror offering I have seen this year I will say it has some great echoes in horror movie past that will undoubtedly appeal to casual and hardcore horror movie fans. While others have compared the movie to The Omen, a similarity I cannot see I’m reminded most of John Carpenters 1978 movie The Fog, there is a great scene where a group of teenagers are desperately trying to escape a group of killer zombie children in a car that’s back wheels are stuck in mud. The ambience of this moment are literally plucked from The Fog, but with one exception, the scene goes further and almost allows you to ask the question, what if Jamie Lee Curtis had not got that car started? What follows is probably one of the most harrowing scenes I have seen in an American horror movie for some time.

 

Ben Cross an actor best known from Chariots Of Fire and the BBC drama The Citadel plays a creepy hillside soothsayer for want of a better choice of words. The character of Hanks not only knows what to do, he knows what is going to happen, and while at first alienating the Tunny family with his creepy choice of wording and his spreading of blood to ward off evil; soon becomes the key to their survival, if of course they have any chance. Cross who is always around working, but never in anything most of us would probably watch does a sterling job as the movies oddball character. Although the movies villain role is taken by Martin McDougall as William Carlton, descendant of the Carlton mine and all that rests on the surrounding area.

 

Of our main cast Lori Heuring is pretty much a tool (no disrespect) of the movie, not essentially a needed part, the piece is lead by Scout Taylor Compton (An American Crime, Halloween) who as the teenage character of the movie most of the horror is endured through her eyes. Compton delivers a competent performance as the usual dysfunctional type character of the movie. Chloe Moretz (who back in 2006 was at the start of her career but is now pretty much an excepted part of Hollywood furniture) is the most watchable character, however because of child acting laws is dramatically underused in order to get the movie completed within a target time, overall a tragic mistake that may if it has not already cost the movie points in horror movie history offerings.

 

What was most enjoyable about the movie was the dark offing of children as the terrible force of the movies, now just Zombies these were the children of the mine nearly 100 years prior who feel not only wronged by events, but cursed in there vicious need to engage in the consumption of human flesh. These kids whom of course look sweet without the makeup are pretty darn scary, with their over emphasised teeth and their terrible lack of compassion, are genuinely creepy and with their bloody massacre at the mid section of the movie you are left with no doubt that these creatures are best not reckoned with.

 

Zombies is a movie you really need to stick with, and as I said earlier its first 30 minutes or so are hardly going to endear you to the piece. But if you have the patience a small pot of gold lies at the end of this rainbow, and judging by horror releases over the last two months this isthe best choice of salvation.

 

Released in the UK on the Momentum pictures label on the 21^st of July, the movie has a short featurette as a special feature called Wicked Little Zombies, this feature shows you a glimpse behind the scenes and discusses the immense pressure of filming a movie with children, especially ones that have enough experience but are still young enough to pull off the terrifying performances effectively. Zombies is released with an RRP of £15.99.

Click here to buy from Amazon

Penitentiary

As a child I remember friends of my mother’s talking passionately about the Penitentiary movies; to hear the tales of these movies you would think they were the best films ever made. These friends were fairly middle class with aspirations to go higher in the class system, as a child our family worshipped this couple, but as an adult I come to realise that this couple had absolutely no class at all. Never have I been so sure about the low standards of these friends than after recently watching Penitentiary, undoubtedly one of the worst “cult” movies I have ever seen.

 

It’s hard to know where to start with this movie because to be honest with you it’s all kind of a blur. Following the story of Martel “Too Sweet” Cardone (Leon Isaac Kennedy), from the outside world into prison; once inside Too Sweet through bullying decides it’s important to fight in the prison boxing team, from here on out it’s all kind of....Yawn.

 

I try never to write off a movie too soon, and in doing so watched Penitentiary until the very end, what I sadly was doing was not giving a movie a chance, but literally throwing away a hundred minutes of my life. Watching this movie is rather like spending 20 years doing a job you hate, it’s offensive and almost painful. The story itself staggers between bad storytelling to bad editing; this is the reason why I find trying to tell the movie in a review so much of a blur.

 

The movie is pretty much an opportunity to display black people in the worst possible light stereotyping them into the category of rapists, drug addicts, murderers and crazy folks. From the first ten minutes of the movie you really get the feeling that this is a piece of racist paraphernalia. What is most sad about the movie is that is written and directed by a black filmmaker known as Jamaa Fanaka, committing the offence of selling his own race down the river.

 

After thirty minutes of stumbled storytelling the movie moves onto the fighting, which seems to dominate the following forty minutes. While Too Sweet fights in the ring, some of his fellow inmates use the opportunity to subdue some visiting women from the nearby women’s prison, when i say subdue they have a choice have sex, or be raped; used as a tool of pleasure, obviously this is all women are worth. While having to endure the unending series of systematic  sexual activity you are forced to hear the sound of the boxing match over the top of the lovemaking, further annoyance is that this sound is on a loop, so every few seconds you here the same shrieks and chants along with some wailing noises that you could only associate with a hippo standing on a spear.

 

All the way through the movie you feel you’re not watching a serious piece of cult cinema, but a spoof; it resembles in some ways the Scary Movie films, with black people with over the top afro’s smoking cigarettes through their ears. While another individual runs round with foam pouring from his mouth and covering his face while holding a monkey, demanding to see the naked rear end of whomever he finds offensive.  I spent a great proportion of the movie laughing my socks off, but not at the great humour playing out on screen, but because of the sheer absurdity of the piece.

 

Further annoyance is delivered in the fact that when the cast are not talking in a as yet unchartered “negro slang”, they are more often than not inaudible due to poor care of the print over the 30 years since the movie was made, in bringing the movie to DVD no time or effort has been spent trying to improve the sound, or the incredibly grainy images on screen.

 

What started out mildly amusing because of the overall “badness” of the piece soon turned to annoyance, I was annoyed that I was watching a movie that literally stood as a piece of intolerable racism at a time in American history where all cultures were supposedly being embraced after years of inequality.

The House Of Mortal Sin

Also known as The Confessional Murders, Pete Walkers 1976 movie The House Of Mortal Sin gained Walker unexpected notoriety both during the year of its release, but a further 8 years later when having appeared on video for a couple of years, the movie found itself banned in its native England. Why did the movie find itself outlawed in the UK? Because it committed the ultimate sin, in delivering horror spills it also had a rather hostile stab at the often believed corruptness of the Roman Catholic Church, something they simply would not allow to happen.

 

While out shopping, and in a slightly distracted manner Jenny Welch (Susan Penhaligon) steps into the path of an oncoming car, fortunately its driver is a very good one and stops before any damage is done. This isolated incident brings together childhood friends when it transpires that the driver is old school friend Bernard (Norman Eshley) now a priest newly arrived to work in the nearby Roman Catholic Church. Having enjoyed the reunion over a coffee, Jenny is enriched by this reunion; and in celebrating this feeling she heads for the church where Bernard works. Believing that Bernard is giving confession, Jenny heads for the booth where she finds Father Xavier Meldrum (Anthony Sharp). Realising that Jenny has something heavy on her shoulders to offload, Father Meldrum persuades her to give confession, during which she reveals that boyfriend Terry some months earlier made her pregnant and forced her to have an abortion. Unbeknown to Jenny however that is Father Meldrum records all his confessions, and opts to make all of his flock’s and in particular Jenny’s problems disappear, regardless of exactly how he achieves his goals.

 

House Of Mortal Sin, is in many ways unlike a lot of other Walker movies; no lesbian overtones as in House Of The Whipcord, No power drill cannibals as in Frightmare, no incest crazed families as in Die Screaming, Marianne; no House Of Mortal Sin comes off for a large part like a traditional Hammer Horror movie. But from this more traditional shell, Walker splinters something of the insane upon his audience creating a horrific terror in a warm and cosy environment.

 

Sadly this tale of a psychopath priest who will happily kill to protect those who confess to their sins to him, takes a decidedly dull path to its conclusion. Please don’t get me wrong as a whole the movie is a superior if not quirky piece of British filmmaking, what happens with The House Of Mortal Sin is a sad tale of unfulfilled promise. The reason of the downfall is after the best part of an hour of pretty much near blinding, curious, enchanting storytelling; the movie stumbles off down the route of being like any old 70’s horror movie that England turned out during that time, slightly stuffy and incredibly familiar.

 

Until that final portion though I really enjoyed the movie, I loved the thought of this religious character shuffling around in the night snuffing out anyone that interferes with the hopes and dreams of an innocent party; while the movie focuses on Jenny’s story all around you see the wreckage of a dozen other families ripped asunder by Father Meldrum’s unique tool of justice. What of course stands out about the movie is the thought of hindsight, while often in our darkest hours we wish ill of those that offend us deep down in the pit of our stomach we really don’t mean it. Not only does the movie cover that ground, but also looks at the ground of mistaken identity, of people being caught in the wrong place at the wrong time and finding themselves caught in a terribly bloody crossfire.

 

Like all other Pete Walker movies the cast are sure-fire products of the day lead actress Susan Penhaligon had shot to fame through the movies The Land That Time Forgot and No Sex Please Were British as well as cameo performances in the likes of Doctor Who and Upstairs Downstairs. Anthony Sharp who played Father Meldrum was a well loved actor of the day that appeared in pretty much any British movie you might find, from A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon to popular re-occurring roles in TV shows like Steptoe And Son, Sharp was a much loved character of the day so his appearance here was most out of character, his real fame however came after his death when he became a bit of a cult hero. Popular actress Stephanie Beacham who had suddenly shot to fame, was only at the beginning of her career here just a few short years after her legendary Playboy centrefold. Norman Eshley took the role of Bernard, an actor who was appearing in two successful British comedy shows of the day Man About The House, and George and Mildred. As well as a scattering of other British stars of the day there was of course a place for Pete Walker favourite Sheila Keith, who here as with all her other Walker collaborations (except House Of The Long Shadows) played a rather understated villain.

 

Unlike a lot of other Walker features the actors here are on fine form, never once did I find myself on the verge of laughter because of a terrible performance, not one piece of ham acting to be found here.

 

As an around piece and in comparison to the dreary Amicus (a similar rival to Hammer, Hammer at this time having fallen into a sudden decline) offerings of the day, The House Of Mortal Sin is a pretty inspiring piece of British horror.

Young People Fucking

Released across the world under the title Young People Fu**ing (but without the censorship I imposed) it might not come as too much of a surprise that here in the UK the movie is not only going straight to DVD (when all other English speaking cultures saw it at the cinemas), but we are going to see it with an amended title of YPF. While its perfectly acceptable it seems for albums to get released in the UK with the F word present, it seems the movie industry gets the same sort of militant censorship it always has.

 

YPF is an interesting low budget movie that looks at a series of relationships surrounding the act of sex, there is a couple, some work colleagues, roommates, Ex’s, and best friends all who over the course of a night have sex. What separates the different stories are the status of the relationships and the lack of, or sometimes too much sexual experience.

 

While the movie features a variety of familiar looking cast, possibly the most know cast member is British actor Callum Blue, who started his acting career in Channel Four’s As IF, before moving on to the popular Grim Reaper based American comedy show Dead Like Me, where he played the loveable Mason. Here he displays a similar roguish charm to the character he played in Dead Like Me as a womanising employer possibly pursuing “the one” who just so happens to work in the same restaurant, for reasons left unknown this player decides that the woman he has taken home is different from all the other employees he has seduced before.

 

Other stories follow two roommates whose fading friendship means that the one in the relationship now has the excuse to act out his fantasy, to see his girlfriend have sex with his now estranged roommate, the tip of this iceberg being that the soon to be evicted roommate has something rather large to offer his one night only lady friend.

 

Bored of the dull sex life a woman one night decides that it’s time to drag her husband kicking and screaming into the new sexual generation. But Abby wants this night to enjoy anal sex for the first time, trouble being she is not going to be the one on the receiving end.

 

A couple of opposite sex friends through circumstance find themselves in a situation that was plotted out on the cards some years prior, that if they were ever feeling the need for sex but unable to get it, that they would help each other out. While the woman is all too eager, the man just cannot get the friendship out of his head.

 

Finally two long time partners now separated, having enjoyed a night out together decide to take things a little further, feeling that both should have gotten over each other. The idea of quick convenience sex comes with a razors edge when the subject of other lovers since their relationship dissolved is bought up.

 

YPF is a very cleverly knit story, and despite the fact that it’s all about sex, the conversation and visual images are surprisingly tame, you could almost say it’s a very innocent piece, having lured you in from the shock value of the title. Each story is cleverly developed with a good mix of humour and an underlying serious edge that does rightly raise some incredibly valuable questions and answers. I’m reminded of a movie I saw earlier this year called After Sex, though the messages here are not so straightforward. After Sex was the ultimate lesson for young people considering having sex for the first time, while YPF is all about pushing your boundaries when it comes to sex; its literally all about trying new and different things, and the effects that those different things has on a relationship.

 

What is so odd about YPF is that after the humour of the story as a whole, there are some devastating conclusions to the stories that quite literally have the potential to shake the foundations of the said relationships to the ground.  Trust is broken, sexual boundaries are pushed far too far, and some literally feel like they have been raped. Having delivered the horror of some of the conclusions, the envelope is pushed one step further by looking then at the reactions of those seen as the conquering party.

 

YPF is one of those movies you can watch as a disposable piece of entertainment or as something that needs some levels of deep analysis. When I watched the movie some seven days ago I took it to be a fairly lightweight piece, yet it’s only now as I write this review that I fully appreciate the harsh realities of the movie. And thinking on, that’s quite an achievement to see a movie just once and have two completely opposite views of the same film... Clever stuff indeed!

 

YPF is going to be available shortly on DVD in the UK. 

The Comeback

From acclaimed and heavily criticised British director Pete Walker came the 1978 movie The Comeback, a story in which a pop star plans to make a return to the industry after a bad relationship goes wrong. Starring a real life pop star Jack Jones who stars as Nick Cooper, the story to some level was close to home as Jones himself was planning a comeback album, of course his story was far different to Nick Coopers.

 

British horror of this era was somewhat tale in comparison to American and European horror, Pete Walker single handily changed this making British horror far more extreme, while this would now be welcomed it almost became the death nail for British horror with most of Walkers films becoming either heavily censored or completely banned like the movie Frightmare. The Comeback is one of Walker’s best received movies, but also the movie seen least of all of the directors work.

 

What makes The Comeback a strange offering is the casting choices for the movie, joining Jack Jones is Pamela Stephenson one time comedian now psychologist and wife of Scottish comedian Billy Connelly. David Doyle best known as Bosley from Charlie’s Angels stars as Nick Cooper’s agent, and in a fairly shocking moment exposed as a transvestite. Then Bill Owen best known as Comp from Last Of The Summer Wine  provides a sobering straight laced performance as the loving husband of Mrs. B played by regular Walker actress Sheila Keith.  Jack Palance’s daughter Holly Palance playsa most unusual role as a corpse from the movies offset; while popular novelist Peter Turner plays a bizarrely abysmal Harry, Coopers right hand man. Finally you have June Chadwick, who would later appear in the Sci-Fi spectacular V. In fairness if you are not from the UK or up on UK culture this might not mean very much to you but to put it most effectively it’s a collection of the most unlikely people gathered together for a shockingly graphic horror movie. It was a strange thing that Walker had, a certain hold over certain celebrities that he could somehow command the most unlikely people to star in his incredibly low budget movies, most of his movies are like a who’s who of British culture at that particular point in time, and here with the Comeback you get the most striking pointer to what was going on in British society.

 

Trivia put aside The Comeback begins with the estranged partner being horrendously hacked to death by a crazed old woman with a sickle. Unbeknown of the death of Gail in his penthouse on Londons Docklands, Cooper returns home from the States (his homeland) to work on his new album . Webster Jones or Webby, Cooper’s agent finds a county house mansion for Cooper to work on where he won’t be disturbed, however upon arrival he finds he is haunted by sounds and images from the past. As Cooper begins to have a mental breakdown, the roles of his careful aging housekeepers Mr & Mrs B change, but can Coopers career be stopped from falling into freefall?

 

I appreciate that the storyline might not sound the most compelling of movie offerings, but things are surprisingly better than they first seem. After a really quite shocking murder (considering this is British) things for a time slump into almost soap opera style storytelling, however as the story moves full circle it gets really quite extreme.

 

What I find most strange about the movie is the slowly rotting body of Gail that we keep seeing in quick flashes, and it’s not too long before she is joined by another body.  It’s hard to put into words the way this looks, or even to describe the impact and shocking nature the movie delivered on an unsuspecting British public.

 

It’s a strange combination of melodrama and extreme horror that to be honest I have never seen before, moving from the most horrific extremes, to kitchen sink drama at the drop of a hat. The scenes of Cooper and Linda (Stephenson) at times are almost painfully normal to watch as they sit and contemplate each other’s pasts, and Cooper shows of the sort of bizarre and totally anal sort of self possessiveness that you come to expect from medium level celebrities. The story darts about from one to the other at the drop of a hat, with the most unusual red herrings thrown in left right and centre to really keep your mind thinking in overtime.

 

I cannot pretend for a minute that in my opinion this is one of Pete Walkers finest, for me that crown will always go to Die Screaming, Marianne; but The Comeback is without a doubt one of the most unusually refreshing movies of the 1970’s. It has a sort of charm and charisma that literally puts the movie in a category all of its own that no country in the world has ever delivered something comparable. The gore is extreme, the language likewise for the movies location in time. All the while you’re getting this incredibly dark and sinister view of England in the 1970’s; and this makes the movie all the more special.

 

The cast whether good or bad in their acting add to the unique flavour of the movie, Sheila Keith plays a typically Pete Walker leading lady role as an aging woman with a secret, while the film is somehow stolen by Bill Owen’s unique secret. But of all the bizarre images that you take from the movie by far the most striking is Charlies Angels Bosley in drag, by far the most frightening (and I don’t mean that sarcastically) image to take from the film.

 

Frightmare

Few movies stick in mind, especially when it comes to horror. I was given a somewhat liberal upbringing in which from a very early age I was allowed to see horror movies. As a result by the time I reached my mid-teens I was immune to the effects of visual movie horror. But in the early 1990’s I remember classic TV station showing the world premiere of a movie by unusual director Pete Walker called Frightmare, although made nearly 22 years earlier it was the first time that the movie had been allowed to be seen in the UK since its release, the governing body (the BBFC) deciding it was too much for innocent eyes and ears to be subjected too.

 

Frightmare begins as it means to go on with the death of onetime Fawlty Towers star Andrew Sachs, killed after a visit to a funfair to see a clairvoyant. This opening scene was a shot in colour but later turned to black and white because the vision of gore you see was just too much for that moment in time.  This event sees the condemning to prison of an unknown party, and at this point the movie moves forward from the 1950’s to the 1970’s. Frightmare is all about extreme family secrets and a thirst for something that you really are not meant to have, cannibalism.

 

Of all the Pete Walker movies of this time, Frightmare offers the most striking vision with some of the worst acting. The memories of Frightmare really stayed with me for years after seeing it, and were given a stark reminder when I made my most recent return to this horror movie as part of a self imposed Pete Walker season.

 

The story of Frightmare is incredibly slow moving, but this is not a criticism; because this slow delivery makes the terror at the end all the more striking. But don’t be fooled into thinking the movie is about build up, all the way through there is an unhealthy amount of deaths to contend with, and some really quite extreme gore.

 

It is rumoured that director Abel Ferrara took a liking to this movie when conjuring up the story to his long banned movie Driller Killer, and as the movies killer moves through a choice of weaponry onto the electric drill you can see some real similarities, hard to believe that a small budget movie not really seen in America would be responsible for such a thing.

 

Pete Walker’s regular cast favourite Sheila Keith plays Dorothy Yates the movies cannibal and drill obsessive, I have ruined nothing in this reveal, it’s made blatantly obvious from the movies offset just who the villain of the piece is. But in Dorothy you feel a touch of sadness because the character is a victim of mental illness, and it’s this slow development and understanding of mental illness that give Frightmare its extreme but winning formula. Upon first sight this aging woman seems charming, but as the “headaches” occur you can see the delivery of messages into Dorothy’s head. Sheila Keith was the sort of actress that could be both charming and menacing, an aspect that director was more than aware of casting her more often than not in his movies as the villain.

 

Where you get this tug of love situation with the movie is in her husband Edmund Yates played by Rupert Davies, you discover that despite the fact that he never committed murder, that he shared the same sentence in prison as Dorothy for being fully in the knowledge of her actions. As the movie progresses your heart does go out to Edmund as you can see the years of recovery that he believes Dorothy has had falling around his feet. You see him wrestling with his emotions as he tries to prevent the inevitable all the time just thinking it’s on the horizon, unaware this time that Dorothy is actually killing.

 

But this is not a two way relationship Jackie (Deborah Fairfax) and Debbie (Kim Butcher) are the grown up children of the couple, and it seems that Debbie the younger of the two sisters has the same sort of diabolical thirst for blood and raw meat that her mother has.

 

Frightmare is 34 years on (at the time of writing) pretty extreme, in fact it’s not an uneven offering to partner off with movies like Saw and Hostel, if you have seen either they you might be just starting to get a feel of exactly how hardcore this movie was for the time.

 

While I cannot say that Frightmare scared me, I can easily see it scaring some, yes the acting is terrible, but the gore is extreme and although I was not frightened by the movie it is one that I will never forget for as long as I live.

Die Screaming, Marianne

I recently started looking at the work of British rough trade director Pete Walker, an individual who during the 1970’s tried to adapt the British horror/thriller genre to be more modern, picking up current issues and giving them a funky twist. Die Screaming, Marianne released back in 1971 was the movie that really put the director on the map, with its twisted tale of bizarre practices, betrayal, incest, deception, and mental illness.

 

Opening with Go Go dancer Marianne (Susan George) begins the movie in a bedroom having seduced a sailor the night before in a small Algarve town. Rudely awoken though by the arrival of a shady looking Portuguese man, Marianne sneaks out through an open window to escape, the reason for this escape is shrouded in secrecy. Walking down the road she encounters Sebastian (Christopher Sandford), who whisks her away back to England so she can set up a new life. On the day of her marriage to Sebastian Marianne suspects something is wrong, and falls into the arms of Eli Frome (the late Barry Evans). But as her sinister past in Portugal catches up with her, Marianne, Eli and Sebastian are all forced to go to Portugal to face the sinister Judge, and his daughter Hildegard, who just so transpire to be Marianne’s father and sister.

 

Die Screaming, Marianne is much criticised movie that has its heart in the right place, but it’s soul buried elsewhere thanks for its appalling acting skills, and Walker’s then harsh direction. But with this taken into account I really enjoyed the movie, I found it a touch refreshing although at times a little predictable.

 

The movie despite being a British offering has something incredibly European about it, almost as a reflection of the increased interest in the European horror and thriller movies of Italy. What is good though is unlike so many of these Brit movies that look like Brits abroad, Walker direction allows for a genuinely European look. The movie is split 50/50 between time in Portugal and in England.

 

For fans of 70’s cinema this is almost like the ultimate resource, you get a very precise view of life in England, specifically Brighton and London during the 1970’s. It’s fascinating to look at the way the streets look, the movies at the cinemas, posters, and newspaper stand signs. While all around are the tell tale signs of a rapidly changing society, drugs and free love both hinted at but never properly addressed.

 

Back onto the movie in general and despite my earlier comment about the poor acting I should add that both Susan George and Barry Evans both put their heart and soul into the movie; George shows the sort of feistiness she returned to later in the same year with Sam Peckinpah’s Cornish Western Straw Dogs, to be fair she is where she is this movie simply due to her smouldering sexuality, and this is played up more than her acting skill. While Evan’s is essentially used as a tool for the movie, but his performances is straight up, this was actually the last serious movie Evans starred in. The acting comedy comes from a quartet of clowns; Leo Genn a familiar horror actor delivers an abysmally creepy performance as the Judge. Christopher Sandford a DJ from the likes of Radio Caroline is just diabolical, that’s if you can get beyond the humour of his hair. Judy Huxtable here nearing the end of her acting career is just completely vacant; she cannot have the decency to even be attacked in a decent manner, as Marianne’s murderously obsessed sister she actually comes across as more of a drag queen than a woman, a very bizarre casting indeed. Finally Kenneth Hendal plays the dodgy butler Rodriguez, here tanned up so that he looks Portuguese but is so obviously British.

 

The story goes well beyond the boundaries of typical British fare of the era; it’s an incredibly sexual piece that once having broken the boundaries of sexual inhibition pushes the envelope a bit further by having a vicious stab at incest. It’s hard to believe that the same country that delivered stodgy looking Hammer horror movies around the same time was capable of delivering this sort of very new terror, although personally it gave me no fears.

 

Despite the flaws I really enjoyed Die Screaming, Marianne; it was a really heavily layered movie with an awful lot of depth to it, it to some degree seemed like two movies jammed into one. The story is well developed, with well rounded corners all the way, although there are a few moments where you almost enter cartoon filmmaking because it seems that script writer Murray Smith literally though on his feet as the script continued. The one thing that let the movie down are those abysmal performances, and even though I did start to warm to Leo Genn his appearances on screen were suddenly cut short just as his performance improved, only allowing you to remember the negatives.